Posts Tagged ‘agtheist’

The Debaters (2)

Darwin city skyline

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Ladies and gentlemen thank you for coming tonight. We will continue with the debate between the distinguished and highly respected, phenomenally educated Dr Hotairre whose knowledge knows no bounds. He will again tonight debate Brother Happy. He will prove to Brother Happy, whom he refers to as an ignorant Bible thumping brain-dead fundie, who seems to lack the ability to think for himself; that it is quite scientifically impossible for an axe to float. He will demonstrate using scientific data that there was no miraculous parting of the Sea of Reeds since no chariot wheels have ever been found. Dr Hotairre will now speak:

Dr Hotairre: If Brother Happy will permit me to comment on his grey matter. He seems to lack the basic ability to think for himself. He believes what he is told with no thought that the very opposite may be true..

In my extensive research in the field of scientific data it is common knowledge that even among those whose IQ is 80 it is known that iron does not float. Now proving this is easily demonstrated. I have brought with me tonight an axe. Now would someone please provide me with a bucket of water?

A bucket of water is brought. Dr Hotairre takes the axe and drops it into the water. Sure enough it sinks to the bottom.

Now, says Dr Hotairre, everyone here of sound mind, which would exclude Brother Happy, knows that the axe will not cannot float to the surface. Yet ladies and gentlemen Brother Happy believes with every fiber of his being that at one time in ancient history an axe floated. He believes simply because he read it in that outdated book filled with contradictions called the Bible.

Now moving right along… I brought with me tonight documents proving there are no chariot wheels on the bottom of the Sea of Reeds. Do I really need to prove anything here tonight when sane people know that none of the things that Brother Happy believes in ever happened? As a proud and ludicrously educated agtheist which is a degree laden agnostic aka borderline atheist, I am free to ponder the mysteries of the universe. Mysteries when studied that each day are yielding new truths to the scientific community. Facts that we the educated may use to build a world where Darwin is respected for the genius that he was.

Do we really need the likes of Brother Happy whose sole goal in life is to praise the Lord? Has he no life? Has he not even one ounce of intelligence seeing he also is descended from apes? Apes which had the basic data within their genes to somehow turn into humans when the time-god did his thing; which was to simply pass.

Brother Happy seems to show all signs of a man who is ignorant of the power of the time-god. Given enough time and chance anything can happen. Anything. No god is needed!  Thank you.

Someone in the audience sends up his first question for Dr Hotairre.

The host reads it to Dr Hotairre: Your belief that given enough time and chance anything could happen Would that include an axe floating?

Dr Hotairre answers No because it is scientifically impossible. However apes turning into humans is not only possible it happened. Even though we are still disappointed that few transitional fossils have been discovered still we believe more will be found.

Another question from the audience:

The host reads it: Dr Hotairre with the passing of your wonder-working time-god, should there not by now, be found, BY CHANCEtrillions of transitional fossils seeing that according to you billions of years have passed? I mean how mush time do you need?

Dr Hoatairre replies..No obviously according to all the evidence we have not enough time has passed. It will probably not be in my lifetime. Time must pass! This is a must!

Dr Hotairre suddenly falls to his knees and begins to worship the time-god shouting..strange incoherent sounds that sound like an ancient voodoo song.

Host: Uh ok. Moving right along. We will now hear from Brother Happy:

Brother Happy: Thank you Jesus and glory to God! Wonderful wonderful God who loves us so much that he sent his Son to die on the old cross. He does a little dance claps his hands together and and sits down.

To be continued…