Posts Tagged ‘caves’

The Reading of Goo’s Will and Last Testament

Piltdown Man

Image by jovike via Flickr

With all his friends gathered in the Museum of Un-natural Pseudo-history Goo’s grieving attorney Evolutionist arrives and is greeted by the waiting crowd. Hopping from his limo he waves away reporters, then hurries inside to do what he hates to do: read Goo’s will to his grieving followers the Darwinians.

There is a hush. After the soloist sings The Impossible Dream his attorney Evolutionist asks that a moment of silence be observed in memory of his friend. An infidel comes forward to say there will be no prayer since none there believe in God.

Goo’s will and last testament  is opened by his faithful attorney Evolutionist. Weeping loudly he reaches for his handkerchief and wipes his eyes. He begins:

I Goo, being of sound mind and goo, do hereby testify that I am forever innocent of all charges hurled against me by the Bible-thumping creationists. Obviously if you are hearing these words today my dear Darwinian friends then you know I am sooo…dead. Dead by the hands of religious fanatics who believe in God without evidence. I had evidence to present to the world. I know what really ruined it for me was when I came up with Pilt-Down man. And his girlfriend Lucy. Big mistake! This is what alerted the creationists to my wicked ways.  Truly I never thought the fundies would challenge me on this. Before I knew it there were literally thousands upon thousands of essays and reports calling me a liar. There were excavations and sites revisited to prove me wrong. Not to mention all the Christian books, movies, and personal appearances by the Creationists who were out to prove beyond any doubt that God is real.

I lost the great battle and the creationists still rule the world as they have since the dawn of time. Rather the dawn of their time. Or rather the dawn of the only recorded time. Anyway let it be known that from this day forward I will be dead and remembered as a liar without a conscience.

But to you my dear Darwinian friends I will always be Goo who dreamed the impossible dream..hoping that transitional fossils would be found even though they were not found. It cannot be denied that if evolution did take place; is taking place there would be so many transitional fossils the world could not hold them. Why after billions of years and something changing into something else there would have to be proof. But there isn’t. So yes I  had to lie I had to keep up the show.

But as you continue in life remember that I tried.

I bequeath all my worldly belongings, which belongings consist of  a spade  and a knapsack,  to the Smithsonian where also will lie my gooey remains after my hanging by the Creationists.

I bid you adieu. By the way I am in Hell.

The crowd cries loudly repeating over and over...My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- a billion greats… great-granddaddy is a baboon.


My Guest Mr Atheist (4)

Wet Season storm at night, Darwin

Image via Wikipedia

CS-Theist: So how does time create? You almost make it sound like evolutionists have a time machine they put everything in so it can change into whatever fits their theory.

Atheist: Well..after so much time people adapt to their environment, you know they change to fit in. Time does work like a change-machine. Given enough time things change as different forms of life adapt to whatever situation it finds itself in.  Darwin discovered this amazing fact.  Billions of years ago there were no real humans, there were only savage crawling grunting beasts, but after a billion years had passed, the savage beast began to adapt to his surroundings. After a few billion more years passed he learned how to make fire to cook the fish he caught for example, he learned by trial and error. He finally learned how to walk on two feet instead of four.This process took billions of years to occur. Billions of years and we know this by dating rocks and stuff.

CS-Theist: Dating rocks? Like granite for example? But the ring halos testify differently to what you claim. ? Anyway….Adapt you say? Time worked this magic? So according to your argument a person doesn’t need to be fitted for eyeglasses he simply will adapt to his inability to see if given a billion years to adapt. Why are people still having vision problems? decaying teeth? Dying bodies? The Bible answers all this and so far you have not offered anything to this debate except that time did it all. How many beasts were there? Apparently millions had to have died under such harsh conditions, yet according to you out of these beasts some had enough intelligence to survive? What determined this? Where did this intelligence originate? Why did it appear? There has to be a reason. I myself do not believe things just happened. I wish you had more information. Could you explain why humans cannot adapt to darkness and pain and loneliness? Also why couldn’t he adapt to hunger instead of hunger becoming starvation than killing him? Why can’t he adapt to freezing weather such as is found in Antarctica? Why do some things kill him while other things help him? Why must he die from no food instead of adapting to eating no food? Why must he have warmth and most of all why must he need love? What caused this?

Atheist: No one knows it just happened that way as time passed. Time worked its magic and things just came into being. Time decided everything. I think some can adapt to loneliness and pain and darkness...given enough time. But we finally found a way to make light as in when we made candles and lamps so we could see in the darkness. We learned to accept things we could not change such as learning we must eat or we will die of starvation. It was all  trial and error. Darwin was the world’s greatest genius he discovered that we came from animals. But given billions of years we can change into humans. We have billions of fossils to prove this. Why they manufactured the Pilt-Down man to deceive the world is strange when there are literally billions and billions of fossils out there proving that man changed from a wild hairy grunting animals into a civilized modern-day man who eats with a fork.

CS- Theist: No one knows it just happened that way is not an answer. The Bible tells us why this is so. Evolution cannot. But you say it just happened that way. Can you imagine an accused person telling a judge he didn’t know why he murdered so and so it just happened that way?  Your answers lack scientific data.  So far you have not explained the who what when where why and how of anything. All your answers are time did it and it just happened that way. Being an empiricist I need solid and scientific data so I can understand. Time machines just are not my idea of an explanation why the human race is as it is. So you think it is great that we so-called evolved from beasts?

Atheist: Well not exactly what I meant. But this explains why there is savageness in all of us.  We are basically wild animals. Everyone is suspect of doing wrong. Well wrong as we call it now but billions of years ago they didn’t see it as wrong when they killed other humans to survive. They engaged in cannibalism, sexual perversions, and all sorts of uncivilized things just to survive. IE: If they stood at a river full of crocodiles and one of them was grabbed by a crocodile that dragged it in and ate it, his companions would just laugh instead of feeling sorrow and pain. They saw it as all animals do as simply life twists and turns.

CS-Theist: Oh? Sounds like you’re describing the ancient Canaanites whom God ordered the Israelites to kill without mercy because they were engaging in these exact things; cannibalism and sexual perversion. They were behaving as does the beasts. You are describing the very people God suffered not to live.  Yet you accuse God of being a bad God for killing these beasts. You are also describing modern-day man. He kills and he does it in various ways such as in wars,  or some get up close and personal, by strangling, shooting, beating other humans to death than lie about it. We don’t kill these killers now but arrest and lock them up for being out-of-order. Much of what you describe  sounds to me like Old Testament methods God employed to rid the world of those disobedient to the laws of God. Yet atheists continually criticize God for doing this, yet this is what you describe. Of course there were no billions of years involved but a few thousand. The very idea that the earth is billions of years old is absurd. Your so-called dating has been thoroughly refuted as in the halo rings found in granite which study proves evolution did not could not have happen.

Atheist: Everything I told you is scientific data. Evolution is a science. Darwin changed the world for the better because of his discovery that we all came from some lower form of life. We came from the same life form that cockroaches did. Anything that has life in it  is related to everything else with life in it. Man is nothing but a beast of the field and forest. He is an ape in many ways.

CS-Theist: And you don’t see the Bible as the answer to our beastly situation?

Atheist: No I don’t The Bible is nothing more than an outdated book written by ignorant goat-herders.

CS-Theist: A serious charge against what most of the world believes; that the Bible is the word of the living God. Explain your position and please provide proof. This time trick just doesn’t work for me. Science is logic, it is reason, it is precise indisputable data, and so far you have said nothing except that time created a universe for no apparent reason, with no purpose no goal it just simply happened as time passed. I just cannot accept that as science.

To be continued….