Posts Tagged ‘Joshua’

The Debaters (1)

Chinese human rights activist Liu Xiaobo award...

Image by Andreas H. Lunde via Flickr

Ladies and gentlemen thank you all for coming tonight. Our speakers will debate whether science and the Bible have anything in common.

Our first speaker Dr Fuller O. Hotairre was educated in London, England at the prestigious university of higher learning Weighbridge. His knowledge knows no limit. His understanding defies human understanding. His wisdom defies the wise and learned..also

he attended the school of Socrates in Alexandria earning several degrees; where he later became  the highly respected Dean of students. He alone discovered that Greek philosophy when mixed with the teachings of Carl Jung with a pinch of Freud can raise one’s knowledge to  heights of ecstasy.

He has studied extensively and his knowledge is unsurpassed by any of his peers. Or by anyone for that matter.

He also served as the president of the college of Incredible Intelligence in Rome. While there in Rome the pope kissed his ring.

After that he earned degrees in every ology known to man. He presently is the respected president of the University of Learning So High that degrees from there can only be attained by a few whose IQ’s must be at least 198. He is fluent in seven languages. He has written over forty books which all have been best sellers.

He has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts to educate the ignorant religious Bible thumping fundies. He works tirelessly to somehow convince them that they have been duped. He enjoys golf and traveling to places never before visited by humans. And he is only thirty-five years old. He calls himself an agtheist which is agnostic but technically a borderline atheist.

His Brilliance Dr Hotairre will now speak.

Dr Hotairre: Good evening ladies and gentlemen. My first presentation will be on unanswered prayer. God does not exist because I have never seen him. And my esteemed audience if I the magnificently educated Dr Hotiarre have not seen God, then he does not exist. I have never heard him with my perfectly healthy ears. I have never touched him. He simply is not here. He is not there. Ladies and gentlemen he is nowhere and not anywhere. He seems to be quite invisible as well as silent. He reigns from glory they say. But where is this glory? He wants praise from his prisoners. But why? Why praise him for an imperfect world? Could he with all his great awesome power have created a world without hurricanes and floods and tornadoes? yes. But he did not. Why? Because he did not want to is the simple answer…if he exists..which I am sure he does not exist. As the late great Alfred North Whitehead inquired why would any God want to be praised forever as does the Old Testament Yahweh?

But the greatest most convincing reason I am sure he does not exist is because he never answered one single prayer I prayed when I did believe in him. I read the Bible through and found nothing but contradictions. Oh yes my listeners I read it through.

I am disappointed it did not contain more information to solve our dilemma. What with all the blood, and smoking mountains, seas that mysteriously part, axes that mysteriously float, gore, wars, and incest, jealousy, idolatry, destroyed temples, wanderings, rapes, circumcisions, garden snakes,  misguided Egyptians, pathetic Persians, rowdy Romans, screaming pagans, confused Greeks, arrogant Assyrians, adultery, and murders, along with all the so called miracles it is a wonder these stories were preserved and handed down to the next generation of ignorant peasants who did not know their right hand from the left.

That is why I turned to science which has all the answers I need. But let us just take a little peek at the scriptures: For example who numbered Israel the Lord or Satan? It is maddening! There is no scientific reason that an axe would float. The Sea of Reeds has been searched thoroughly and not one chariot wheel has been found. Where are the stones Moses said the Ten Commandments were written on by the finger of God? There is not one shred of evidence that the Israelites wandered forty years in the wilderness. Where is the evidence for it?

It is absurd to believe that Elijah left here in a chariot. Science cannot support that the sun stood still at Joshua’s command.  It is not scientifically possible to produce the result Jacob did when he did his sheep experiment. I could go on and on naming one impossibility after another.

The notion that David killed a lion and a bear with his bare hands is absurd. Samson did not kill thousands of Philistines with the jawbone of an axe simply because there was no Sampson. What man needs is education. The world is in the condition it is in because of ignorance. It is a battle between those who have an education and those who need an education.

Thank you Dr Hotairre. We will now hear from Brother Happy.

Brother Happy: Hallelujah! Praise the Lord and thank you Jesus!

Glory to God! Praise the Lord for saving a wretch like me! I was lost and now am found. I was blind but now I see! I was full of hate and Jesus exchanged it for love! I was a sinner bound for hell. I am now saved and on my way to heaven.

to be continued in part 2…

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