Posts Tagged ‘lie’

Goo’s Execution

The hanging of two participants in the Indian ...

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It happened that Goo (from a far distant shore that appeared from nothing out of the so-called Big Bang) was found guilty of lying to the world.

His false claim that the human race descended from him has been thoroughly refuted by science.

The judge sentenced him to death by hanging.

The following is a report of what happened at the execution:

Only a few people were present to witness Goo breathe his last. It is reported he chose as his last meal a hot roast beef sandwich with mashed potatoes and green beans. And a large slice of Red Velvet cake for dessert. He swallowed down a large beer, smiled and belched before in death he closed his lying eyes.

After Goo is finished eating and drinking and belching, he is dragged to the gallows. Screaming and resisting with all his gooey might, he vows revenge on his killers. “I will come back I swear I will rise from the dead and kill you hypocrites!

Finally subdued he offers no more resistance knowing his fate is sealed. He trembles with fear as he catches his first look at the hanging place called the gallows.

Prison warden: Goo do you have any final words before we hang you by your lying scrawny little neck?

Goo: Not really. All I had to say I said on the witness stand. I stand by what I said that it was from me that the human race descended. Man came from apes! I know that is hard to accept. But it is true. Man is an animal! As I said; it all began on a far off distant shore after I met dear kind Mr Darwin. I slid out of the the sea and…

Prison warden: Place the noose around Goo’s lying bony dirty smelly godless neck Mr Executioner.

The executioner comes  forward with a black hood over this head. Only his eyes are visible. He glares at Goo. He places the noose around Goo’s neck. He secures it as if it will somehow fall off as Goo begins again to resist..

Goo reaches  up to feel the noose. He winces… then immediately composes himself.

Goo: I hate you all! I hate you all! May I die rather than deny that man evolved from goo to reptile to monkey to grunting, smelly, disgusting sex-crazed, wild beas…

CLUNK! The foundation beneath Goo’s feet disappears. It drops like a pebble into the abyss never to be seen again. Goo flops like a rag doll as the noose does its work of strangling the last lying breath out of him. After Goo’s dead lying body dangles for a few minutes, the executioner removes Goo’s lying neck from the noose. He places his corpse on the waiting gurney.

He is pronounced soooo…dead by a archaeologist doctor. A great cheer erupts from the crowd of creationists. Not a tear not a sigh when lying Goo died.

Goo died as he lived;  a liar.

He is taken down and buried in a grave marked

Here lies a liar and a fool” Goo the decieved.


Attorney Evolutionist Goes To Court

Piltdown Man

Image by jovike via Flickr

The courtroom is packed with reporters. With pens ready they wait to hear Attorney Evolutionist’s defense of his client.

All rise! The Honorable Judge Honest Harry Jones presiding. Judge seats himself. All may be seated! The judge sits back in his chair:

Judge: Attorney Evolutionist you may begin.

Attorney Evolutionist: I will prove to this court of law that my client Unbeliever is innocent of the charges brought against him by Believer. I will prove beyond any shadow of doubt to this honorable court that evolution is indeed taking place beginning over 1000,000,000,000 billion years ago. Give or take another hundred billion.

Attorney Christian: I object your Honor. My opponent has not a shred of evidence to defend his client. In fact this court will find before the trial is over that evolution is nothing but a big hoax perpetrated on the Bible ignorant.

Judge: Objection overruled. You may proceed.

Attorney Evolutionist: Yes your Honor. I call my first witness Pilt down Man.

Piltdown Man takes the stand. He is sworn in. He lies under oath.

Attorney Evolutionist: Pilt Down Man isn’t it true that you are a transitional fossil?

Attorney Christian: I object to this fairy tale to be presented in a court of law. It is documented that “Pilt down Man (Eoanthropus Dawsoni) was once thought to be a “missing link” between man and ape. The first Piltdown fragments were discovered in 1912. Thereafter, over 500 scientific essays were written on the Piltdown Man in a 40-year period. The discovery was proven to be a deliberate hoax in 1953.

Attorney Evolutionist: Piltdown man is this true?

Piltdown Man: No it is not true! I am a transitional fossil that proves the link between man and beast. I was discovered…

Judge: I want this lying witness arrested. Piltdown man this court holds you in contempt for deliberately lying to this court. May I remind Attorney Evolutionist that this court seeks only evidence. Facts backed up by science.

Attorney Evolutionist: I call my second witness Infidel the esteemed scientist. He was educated at the finest universities. He holds three degrees. Paleontology anthropology and biology. He has written numerous books on evolution….all best sellers. Books that now are in universities and schools across the nation. Our children must learn the truth of our origins that we all came from monkeys. They must be educated in the teachings of Charles Darwin. They must learn that the only god is Time.

Judge: May I remind you Counselor Evolutionist that this court is interested in evidence. I am not interested in hearing of this man’s numberless degrees. Or how many books he wrote. There are books of fiction. Books are not evidence unless there are witnesses. I must see evidence. I want eyewitnesses. Documents and written and signed affidavits. I want tangible physical evidence that can be verified by science.

Attorney Christian: Your Honor if I may say something.

Judge: You may.

Attorney Christian: Infidel has no evidence. He presents as evidence the strange tale of smelly hairy disgusting sex-crazed beasts he claims stomped through earth an unbelievable amount of millenniums ago. He just keeps saying it just happened. He has no documents to prove anything he says. He has his word which, no offense to him, his word is just not good enough.

Judge: Exactly. I want evidence. I want empirical evidence. As Richard Dawkins the famous atheist says `the world has no shortage of liars.`

(Judge looks at Attorney Evolutionist than glares at Unbeliever and Infidel)

Judge: Counselor why are you in my courtroom without evidence?

Attorney Evolutionist: Your Honor may I call my witness to the stand?

Judge: By all means. This is why we are here to see and hear evidence.

Infidel hurries to witness stand. He is sworn in with his right hand on the Bible.

Attorney Evolutionist: Infidel isn’t it true that you know exactly what happened 1000, 000,000 billion millenniums ago?

Infidel: I do.

Attorney Christian: I object! Was he there? Did he see? Did he hear? Did he feel? Where are the documents from witnesses?

Judge: Objection overruled!

Attorney Evolutionist: Please tell the court what happened 1000,000,000 billion years ago.

Infidel: For no apparent reason there was suddenly a Big Bang. It shook the nothingness of nothingness. It shot out for eons of time exploding into chemicals and atoms. It shot even further out and suddenly for no reason there were amino acids and other interesting stuff.

Attorney Evolutionist: then what happened?

Infidel: The universe came into existence. Suns appeared and also moons. Stars began to shine..this strange happening took 900,000,000,000,000,000,000 billion zillion years.

Attorney Christian: I object! Your Honor without evidence he has nothing. I am not interested in hearsay. Where is the evidence? His so called testimony is a fairy tale if I ever heard one.

Judge: Present evidence or this court will hold you in contempt. May I remind you that Pilt down man is just an example of what happens to liars and hoaxes.

Attorney Evolutionist: Go on Infidel and present your evidence.

Infidel: Well I wasn’t there but I just know that is what happened.

Attorney Christian: I object to this fairytale presented as facts.

Judge: Objection overruled.

Attorney Evolutionist: Go on please.

Infidel: Than there were unbelievable loud ear-splitting eye-bulging sound barrier-breaking explosions in deep space. Black holes appeared which immediately swallowed up a few spiral galaxies. No big deal because the universe kept producing other interesting stuff. Like novas. Oh yeah.. and stars so numberless they  could never be named. Mysterious phenomenon. Numberless galaxies appeared for no apparent reason. Then far away on a single planet there was goo sliding and slipping on a distant shore. It was the beginning of life here on earth.

Attorney Christian: I object your Honor. I have never heard such gobbledygook nonsense in my entire life! And by the way the Bible says that God calls every star by name. I have never heard such heretic hogwash!

Judge: Me neither! But go on Infidel..

Attorney Evolutionist: May I remind this court that my illustrious witness is the holder of several degrees. He is well-respected in science. He attended a prestigious university of higher learning. He gives seminars across the land. Not to mention he is known in the circles of evolution as their most respected and knowledgeable scientist.

Judge: Well I would hate to hear him as a witness without he having not gone to school. You may proceed.

Judge yawns.

Infidel: The goo was slimy and sticky. It was green. It remained goo for over 100 billion millenniums. Then for no apparent reason it begin to change its form and soon it had an eye. One bulging eye appeared so the goo could see.

Attorney Evolutionist: What did the goo see?

Infidel: It is assumed that the goo saw nothing yet.

Attorney Christian: I object to this make-believe story. It is outrageous that this is even happening in a court of law.

Judge: Objection overruled.

Attorney Evolutionist: You may step down for now. Your Honor may I call to the stand Father Time?

Attorney Christian: I object again Your Honor. This is outrageous! To think that Infidel knows what happened at a so-called time that only exists in his imagination is hardly evidence for science. Now he is going to question the time-god. I object to this travesty of truth!

Judge: Objection overruled!

Father Time takes the stand after being sworn in.

Attorney Evolutionist: Please tell the court your full name please.

Father Time: Father Time also known as Time-god.

To be continued…

Pilate’s Question; What is Truth?

Christ before Pilate, Mihály Munkácsy, 1881

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Pilate the governor of Judea was looking at Truth personified  when he looked at Jesus of Nazareth and asked the question What is truth?

Pilate did not recognize truth. He is like the rest of his fellow humans that do not, cannot, will not see truth for what it is.  When it does not comply with their thoughts and feelings it cannot be truth. Jesus said that he himself was the TRUTH.

Many people see themselves as truth not anything else. What is truth? Truth is what GOD SAID. It is that simple. But how do we know what God said? The Torah is the law of God.

God isn’t ever going to say that green is red. But if he did, than green would be red. It is what  GOD SAID that determines everything to be what it is.

Could one conclude just by speculation, or even deep thought that any feeling, or experience is real or good? Or is it evil or is it a delusion? Perhaps it is a hallucination? What? How do we determine what is from God when there is so much delusion in the world?

Firstly, Satan is the master of delusion and deception. He is the being of iniquity and darkness, the wicked evil savage of hate and murder.  He walks  in lies. He operates in delusion, in deceit and incredible dark light.  As Jesus said there can be light that is darkness.

If therefore the light that is in you be darkness, how great is that darkness! (Matthew 6:23)

When two masters are served (good and evil both) the evil master will prevail because the good Master Jesus will not compromise with  evil. Your light will be turned into darkness. How great is that darkness?  So great you think it is light. That is dark!

This is deception; this is what the enemy does as he works his evil in the hearts of those who refuse to simply believe God. When Jesus said to believe him he didn’t mean you need a degree in theology. He didn’t mean you need to pray until there are lumps on your knees. He didn’t say you have to graduate at the top of your class.  Just go with what he said.

He did not come to threaten or judge he came to reveal laws that are in place. Universal laws his Father set into motion. That if you transgress those laws you will perish. Why? Because they are immutable laws.

Laws such as the law of gravity, the laws of thermodynamics, the laws of marriage, and of faith, of sin, or love….laws laws laws…all set into motion by the great Creator.

Satan is the master magician who can actually present in full color before you an illusion by presenting to you evil disguised as goodness.  He comes as an angel of light to deceive those who refuse the light. Jesus said men loved darkness rather than light, that they would not come to the light lest their deeds be reproved.

And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. (John 3:19)

Condemnation is not anything to play around with.

But fear of shame and reproach keeps many a sinner from the altar of repentance. When that is why the altar is there; to receive the sinner.

Murderers and adulterers and homosexuals all feel what they are doing.

Karla Faye Tucker the woman who axed two people to death in Texas and died by lethal injection for it, said she had orgasms while she slashed her victims to death with an axe. She felt what she was doing as pleasure though what she was doing was evil. Satan the master deceiver was at work to destroy her and her victims.

This is undeniable evidence that evil brings pleasure even as the Bible says. The Bible says there is pleasure in sin for a season.

“… enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season; (Hebrews 11:25)

Homosexuals say it feels right so they think their perversion is right.  They say they need to get “married” because of their rights and feelings.

On and on the claims go. Ted Bundy was driven to kill; he could not stop himself so he stalked and killed with nary a tear of remorse. He lived by his feelings. Homes torn to pieces by adulterers and fornicators all because they live by their feelings instead of by laws. Feelings feelings and more feelings. The world is almost destroyed because of humans being guided by their feelings instead of by what GOD SAID.

The man who had sex with a stallion in Washington state than died after the stallion perforated the man’s inner organs.  He bled to death. Why? Because the man lived by his feelings. He thought to have sex with a horse and paid for it with his life.

If he had obeyed God’s law that said not to lie with beasts he would not have died that way. Yet God gets the blame for so much from so many.

Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it [is] confusion. (Leviticus 18:23)


In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.  (Genesis 1:1)

Than what happened? Nothing happened. The Bible says next that the spirit of God moved upon the face of the deep.  (Genesis 1:1) What happened then? Nothing happened. Simply because nothing just happens there has to be a reason a cause for it. What a horrible world this would be if things just happened for no reason or cause. Scary.

Like a family going on a picnic on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. They know it might rain if that weatherman got it wrong. They know they will see different strangers at the park. They know what might take place, but they know this ; They know that no beast will suddenly arise from the ground and eat them up. This is delusion it is imagination something the Bible says not to do.

There are laws and there is delusion. People who took LSD hallucinated and saw colors and other weird  stuff. It was all delusion one of Satan’s most useful tools.

I hate [vain] thoughts: but thy law do I love. (Psalm 119:113)

Then it says in Genesis something that brought light.

And God said Let there be light and there was light. (Genesis 1:3)

Those words……GOD SAID. And there it is the reason for it all the reason for good and the reason for evil…the cause of both in the universe it is all because GOD SAID. If anything agrees with what GOD SAID all will be well with that one. If one resists what GOD SAID than he will die.

LAWS. Everything that proceeds from the mouth of God is LAW. Not idle chatter, not suggestions awaiting our approval. Not maybes, or could be. Not conjectures or guesses.

If we only understand it is what GOD SAID that determines what is right what is wrong.

This is why we have the Torah it tells us  GOD SAID what is right and what is wrong.
Nothing else exists that contains its enduring truths.

Many will argue that there were before the Torah laws and rules.  I think not. That the Old Testament is not original but way before it there were laws teaching right from wrong. That is also the extent of their opposition to merely say the Torah is not original. Let them try then to prove it with documented evidence.

Don’t bring the Babylonian Code that is not sufficient to guide the world as history has proved. Don’t bring Buddha who came along 700 years before Jesus was born.

The Torah is what GOD SAID. It will remain what GOD SAID forever.

What GOD SAID is TRUTH. His laws are TRUTH.

And Jesus was the personification of those laws; what GOD SAID

Next..why obeying the Ten Commandments is right and will bring peace order and happiness.