Posts Tagged ‘time-god’

Reverend Faith Debates Dr Hotiarre

Abacavir - a nucleoside analog reverse transcr...

Image via Wikipedia

Thank you Dr Hotiarre and Reverend Faith for agreeing to this debate. Now let us begin:

Reverend Faith: Dr Hotiarre you are a strong believer in evolution right?

Dr Hotiarre: I am.

Reverend Faith: You believe brains evolved?

Dr Hotiarre: I know they did. Billions of years ago my brain was the brain of a great silver back. I am the proud descendant of a smelly sex-crazed grunting killing ignorant disgusting beast.

Reverend Faith: So I take it that the human brain which you say evolved got its ability to think from the time-god?

Dr Hotiarre: Well not just from the time-god. But from environment also. From billions of years of trial and error. From billions of years of death and destruction. Yes man’s brain evolved. So did his capacity to think. At one time in earth’s dark mysterious history I could not think. All I could do was grunt. So you see how far we have come thanks to the time-god.

(Dr Hotiarre suddenly falls to the floor and begins to have a spasm. He jerks and salivates. He foams and grimaces. Then strangely begins to chant a eerie sounding jungle chant as he feverishly worships the time-god.) After about five minutes he appears to come back to reality. He does not apologize for his ghastly behavior, but says worshiping the time-god is part of his religion. He struggles back to his seat and composes himself without an ounce of shame or embarrassment.)

Reverend Faith: How long do these strange outbursts last when you fall to the floor to worship your time-god?

Dr Hotiarre: I never know when I will have an episode. I never can tell when I must fall to my knees with my face to the floor to worship the time-god who after billions of years changed me from a smelly sex-crazed beast into a degree laden doctor whose knowledge knows no bounds.

Reverend Faith: Do you believe that the same brain that evolved from an ape-brain to a human-brain evolved to invent and discover new drugs and medicines?

Dr Hotiarre: I do. For example when a scientist who is fully evolved from his grunting ancestors becomes a university degree holding scientist he goes to his lab to discover the cure for many diseases.

Reverend Faith: Like AIDS for example?

Dr Hotiarre: Yes science has discovered many drugs to destroy the AIDS virus. Or at least halt its destruction.

Reverend Faith: So what you say is that evolution tries to destroy itself?

Dr Hotiarre: I don’t understand.

Reverend Faith: You say that the brain evolved. You say that this same evolved brain then seeks to discover what will destroy AIDS; such as drugs. Yet it is evolution with the help of the time-god that made the brain that discovered the drugs to destroy the virus that is killing the host body. How does this make sense? You are basically saying that evolution is trying to eliminate itself. Why does evolved man try to destroy what brought it into existence in the first place to destroy its own evolving power?

Dr Hotiarre: Well as a scientist we realize that we evolved primates are one with the universe. But as we evolve into humans we understand more and more of our origins and our purpose on this particular planet. So we use our evolved brains that reason and think to destroy what tries to destroy us by disease and sickness. Hence we discover drugs that heal and halt disease.

Reverend Faith: So evolution fights itself? Why try to destroy what evolution created only to destroy and eliminate? If evolution doesn’t favor a certain one then why cumber it along?

Dr Hotiarre: As I said we are learning what we are. What the universe is. We are learning that some things are not acceptable. Disease is not acceptable.

Reverend Faith: Obviously evolution does not agree with you. Do you believe in prevention? Such as concerning the AIDS virus. Is there a reason it came into existence? Is there a certain host type it favors when it seeks to eliminate? Why does the evolved brain invent drugs to save what evolution obviously considers unfit? Evolution is all for to destroy the unfit. Explain how the same brain that evolution made seeks to invent drugs to save what evolution deems unfit to live?

To be continued….

Advertisements

The Debaters (2)

Darwin city skyline

Image via Wikipedia

Ladies and gentlemen thank you for coming tonight. We will continue with the debate between the distinguished and highly respected, phenomenally educated Dr Hotairre whose knowledge knows no bounds. He will again tonight debate Brother Happy. He will prove to Brother Happy, whom he refers to as an ignorant Bible thumping brain-dead fundie, who seems to lack the ability to think for himself; that it is quite scientifically impossible for an axe to float. He will demonstrate using scientific data that there was no miraculous parting of the Sea of Reeds since no chariot wheels have ever been found. Dr Hotairre will now speak:

Dr Hotairre: If Brother Happy will permit me to comment on his grey matter. He seems to lack the basic ability to think for himself. He believes what he is told with no thought that the very opposite may be true..

In my extensive research in the field of scientific data it is common knowledge that even among those whose IQ is 80 it is known that iron does not float. Now proving this is easily demonstrated. I have brought with me tonight an axe. Now would someone please provide me with a bucket of water?

A bucket of water is brought. Dr Hotairre takes the axe and drops it into the water. Sure enough it sinks to the bottom.

Now, says Dr Hotairre, everyone here of sound mind, which would exclude Brother Happy, knows that the axe will not cannot float to the surface. Yet ladies and gentlemen Brother Happy believes with every fiber of his being that at one time in ancient history an axe floated. He believes simply because he read it in that outdated book filled with contradictions called the Bible.

Now moving right along… I brought with me tonight documents proving there are no chariot wheels on the bottom of the Sea of Reeds. Do I really need to prove anything here tonight when sane people know that none of the things that Brother Happy believes in ever happened? As a proud and ludicrously educated agtheist which is a degree laden agnostic aka borderline atheist, I am free to ponder the mysteries of the universe. Mysteries when studied that each day are yielding new truths to the scientific community. Facts that we the educated may use to build a world where Darwin is respected for the genius that he was.

Do we really need the likes of Brother Happy whose sole goal in life is to praise the Lord? Has he no life? Has he not even one ounce of intelligence seeing he also is descended from apes? Apes which had the basic data within their genes to somehow turn into humans when the time-god did his thing; which was to simply pass.

Brother Happy seems to show all signs of a man who is ignorant of the power of the time-god. Given enough time and chance anything can happen. Anything. No god is needed!  Thank you.

Someone in the audience sends up his first question for Dr Hotairre.

The host reads it to Dr Hotairre: Your belief that given enough time and chance anything could happen Would that include an axe floating?

Dr Hotairre answers No because it is scientifically impossible. However apes turning into humans is not only possible it happened. Even though we are still disappointed that few transitional fossils have been discovered still we believe more will be found.

Another question from the audience:

The host reads it: Dr Hotairre with the passing of your wonder-working time-god, should there not by now, be found, BY CHANCEtrillions of transitional fossils seeing that according to you billions of years have passed? I mean how mush time do you need?

Dr Hoatairre replies..No obviously according to all the evidence we have not enough time has passed. It will probably not be in my lifetime. Time must pass! This is a must!

Dr Hotairre suddenly falls to his knees and begins to worship the time-god shouting..strange incoherent sounds that sound like an ancient voodoo song.

Host: Uh ok. Moving right along. We will now hear from Brother Happy:

Brother Happy: Thank you Jesus and glory to God! Wonderful wonderful God who loves us so much that he sent his Son to die on the old cross. He does a little dance claps his hands together and and sits down.

To be continued…

Attorney Evolutionist Court (2)

The Honorable Judge Honest Harry Jones now presiding. All rise! All be seated!

Attorney Evolutionist: Father Time would you give the court your age please.

Father Time: I am timeless. I am the Time-god. The idol of the Darwin crowd. Without me they have nothing.

Infidel jumps up from his chair angrily screaming “Whose side are you on Pops?”

Judge: Infidel one more outburst and I will hold you in contempt! Proceed Counsellor Evolutionist.

Attorney Christian: I object your Honor! So far all we have heard here is fantasy and fairy tales. Lies! Father Time is the biggest liar this side of Uranus.

Judge: May I remind you Counsellor Christian that this is my courtroom not yours? I will decide after hearing all the evidence what is true and what is false. Be advised the guilty party who came into the courtroom without evidence will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. I will sentence him to life in prison with no possibility of parole. Continue Counselor Evolutionist. Without empirical evidence they have nothing. So far they have no evidence.

Attorney Evolutionist: Father Time when was it you realized that you were able to create universes and other fun stuff?

Father Time: When I met Charles Darwin for the first time in jolly old England. We traveled on the tiny Beagle together for five years finally ending up at Galapagos. It was there he found me of great use and the rest is history.

Attorney Christian: I object! This is the biggest piece of fiction ever dreamed up by the enemies of truth. It is true he sailed with Darwin on the famed Beagle. But the facts is this is a lie! He has no power to create. All he can do is move forward. God created him and one day he will be no more even as the angel says in the Revelation of Jesus Christ chapter ten verse six.

Judge: Objection sustained..

Attorney Evolutionist: Let me rephrase that..what exactly happened at Galapagos?

Father-Time: It was the beaks of the finches that made Darwin understand the hidden secret of the ages. Evolution is taking place.

Attorney Christian: I object! The Time-god is capable of doing nothing but moving forward. Not giving evidence of Finches! I have plenty to say about that. Present empirical evidence! Talk is talk but where is the evidence? I think it was not the finches but the natives of another place that made him believe that the Bible cannot be true.

Judge: Objection overruled. Go on Counsellor Evolutionist.

Attorney Evolutionist: Why do you believe evolution is taking place?

Father-Time: Because I am the one that makes it happen.

Attorney Evolutionist: I have no further questions for this witness.

Judge: Attorney Christian: You may now cross-examine the witness.

Attorney Christian: Father-Time: Isn’t it true that you are capable of doing nothing but moving forward? And isn’t it true that you had a beginning? Which in fact was only  a few thousand years ago?

Father-Time: That is not what Darwin told me. He believed in me. He said that it was because of me that evolution takes place.

Attorney Christian: It is true that you had a beginning. You were created in Genesis 1. In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. In that passage there you Time.. are “the beginning”That is your real name. You do not have any magical powers to create. In fact you have never stood still. You have never rewound. Moving forward is what you do.

Attorney Evolutionist: I object!

Judge: Objection overruled.

Attorney Christian: On Galapagos what exactly did you do there?

Father-Time: I simply was used of Darwin to make things change into other stuff. I did nothing wrong.

Attorney Christian: Nothing wrong huh? I would not call saying you changed goo into a rhinoceros is not doing anything wrong.

Father-Time: I only wanted to help. I was a victim of evolution. They used me and exploited me for their own greedy gain.

(Time-god is getting very nervous)

Attorney Evolutionist: I object to this ridiculous testimony. Your Honor it is apparent the witness is losing it.

Attorney Christian: So now the truth comes out. Time-god when they used you for dishonest reasons how did that make you feel?

Time-god: It made me feel used. Darwin used me and so did the goo.

To be continued…

(Editor’s note: I laugh when I write my evolution blogs. I have fun fun fun. I mean no offense to anyone.)

Atheist 11

Theist: Tell more about the time-god’s victims  ; those smelly,  grunting,  disgusting,  hairy,  sexual perverted, cannibalistic beasts that the human race once was? I don’t believe a word of it but go ahead tell me anyway. It is very interesting.

Atheist: Well..look there was a time. Okay time was once far away from here. It was as I said billions of years ago. Apparently there was a sun moon stars galaxies. You know it was all here. But the savage beasts had barely learned to walk upright. They were simply living breathing things. Human they were not. They were animals only the animal they were had a different type brain. it was a little larger.

Theist: I marvel that you could believe such a thing. Okay so what made them “decide” to walk upright? I mean there had to be some motivation, some order of sorts to suddenly  cause them to walk upright. It is incredible and totally unbelievable that these wild men wannabes stopped hunching around and lifted themselves up. I would never laugh at your beliefs but give me a break here.

Atheist: Let me tell step by step what took place according to evolution.

Theist: Wait wait my friend…as you are describing your illustrious ancestors tell me how they managed to not be brutally killed by all the wild beasts? You know like bobcats and snakes? Oh yeah I forgot they were the wild beasts. But how is that these wild beastly smelly creatures evolved into men and other wild beasts such as bears lions tigers..you know animals of that sort did not evolve into humans? What determined that? Also why is evolution so unmercifully involved? In the Bible it is so simple and to the point, so lovely. It says that God created man in his image. I love it!

Atheist: Working with time were  certain laws such as genetics.

Theist: Forgive my ignorance but is that DNA and enzymes stuff like that?

Atheist: All of that was at play along with protein and molecules and amino acids.

Theist: Truly I have no idea what these things are. Oh did you hear the one about God and the evolution scientist? Are you willing to hear it?

Atheist: Yeah sure go ahead. I hope it is funny.

Theist: The scientist said to God..”If you really exist let us have a contest and both make a human being. God being the reasonable loving merciful Being he is agreed.  God scooped up some dirt to begin. The scientist took some amino acids. Then God said to him..Get your own amino acids.

Atheist: Okay I admit that is kinda funny.

Theist: So is this one. Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist who said There is no dog!?

Atheist: That one is not funny!

Theist: I read that making protein by chance is about as possible as finding the proverbial needle in a haystack. Only in this case the haystack would reach from earth to Sirius. It is as probable as dropping a pin on the ocean floor then trying to find it blindfolded with boxing gloves on.

Atheist: Exactly my point! That is why time is so all important when it comes to things changing into other things. After billions of years anything  is possible. I’m telling you one day on a far away land something came out of nothing. I admit that I have no idea how that happened. But I do believe it. It is the only explanation that makes sense the only thing that works with science.

Theist: Even Darwin himself said that he feared no fossils would ever be found. When did Darwin die? wasn’t it about 160 years ago or near that? To think protein appears and does its thing is so far-fetched no wonder evolution is taught in secret. They sneak it into textbooks like they did with that lie of the Piltdown man. Too  late it was taught for a generation to kids that were basically brainwashed to believe a lie. No offense intended to you.

Atheist: Time can do it.

Theist: Did you know that Fred Hoyle said that it takes 2000 different and very complex enzymes for a living organism to exist? Then he said that random shuffling processes could not even form one single one of these in 20 billion years. That is how impossible it is.

Atheist: However it did.

Theist; How did it did? I wish you had more information beside time did it.

Atheist: The reason why the disgusting repulsive perverted beasts evolved into humans and the other wild beasts did not is time did it using certain evolving substances and allowing them to naturally select where  they wanted to go..It is all explained by chance. I could play the lottery and there is a chance I would win.

Theist: But deep down you really don’t believe you would do you? You know the odds are so against you why even think of winning. Some people get depressed when they try and lose. It is  not a guarantee whereas God is.

Atheist: but say I bought a ticket each week for a billion years surely I would win.

Theist: You would have to have your descendants keep buying  tickets. Because you will run out of breath, we do run out of breath you know.

Atheist: I would like you to take a look at the fossil record.

Theist: Instead tell me about Nutcracker man.

To be continued….

Atheist (8)

Hi again Atheist and thanks for coming tonight. As I mentioned to you in our emails last night you will be questioned about the mind. Where did it come from? How did it evolve. Of course you know that I do not agree with one thing you have said about anything else you’ve offered here. I do not believe the universe or earth is billions of years old. I am sure it is only a few thousands years old because of documented evidence.  I certainly don’t believe humans evolved from different beasts over billions of time because of time’s magical powers. Before Genesis one, anything said what happened then, is hearsay. Anyway I respect your right to believe whatever you believe. I am sure God created man in his image and he called him Adam. Let us begin…

CS-Theist: How does evolution account for the mind?

Atheist: It simply evolved along with everything else. We believe that emotions and thoughts are just the result of the big emotional and mental bang. You see when the big bang happened, an incredible amount of energy was released from the center of it. The ability to think was among the treasure distributed to wherever it happened to explode . You know the time-god is not compassionate its purpose if you could call it purpose is simply whatever.

CS-Theist: You misunderstand the question or I did not make myself clear. I refer to the hairy smelly beasts you insist were our ancestors. Did they have a mind?

Atheist: Yes they did but it was limited to grunting. They had no idea to move their tongue to form words since there were no words to form. They  simply grunted. Try grunting and notice it requires no movement of the tongue.

CS-Theist: Brilliant observation on the part of evolutionists that no words existed to be formed. Well..why didn’t the creatures make some up? Anything even if it was just Let’s go hunting?

Atheist: Their mind was there but it was completely blank. They lived by instinct. As I said earlier most of their time was used looking for food. But since as you said earlier they probably committed cannibalism, they probably did resort to eating each other when no food was available.

CS-Theist: By the way what food was available besides they eating each other? And don’t forget to explain how the mind formed.

Athirst:  They ate grass and leaves, fruit and if they were able to outrun them, they caught raccoons and porcupines and ate those too. I’m sure they ran after foxes and coyotes and wolves to eat them. When they weren’t doing that they were multiplying and having baby beasts….all the while their minds were evolving. Why the earth turns on its axis in perfect tune from the get-go and humans took billions of years to evolve I have not a clue.

Cs-Theist: Porcupines? Uh..okay. I can see the quills sticking out of their face now. Truly the world you describe is horrible beyond belief. There must have been blood all over the place with the smell of decaying flesh and the stench of death. And to think this went on for billions of years is gruesome and sick to say the least. These beasts you describe did they possess any tenderness? Or is it as I suspect they were capable of nothing but murder and cannibalism? Sounds to me these disgusting creatures were deserving of death by any method. I  recall Yahweh commanding the Israelites to utterly destroy the Canaanites. These disgusting people were engaging in sexual perversions to have babies to offer them to demons. Archaeologists have found all the proof of this. Baby after baby after baby dead while they worshiped demons. And this was about six thousand years ago. We have authentic documentation for this. The earth turns on its axis without a flaw because the same God who set that going is the same God who made man in his image in Eden just a few thousand years ago.

Atheist: Well imagine what happened billions of years ago. I know evolution has no documentation to prove these hairy creatures existed but they had to have existed when you go backward into time considering the progress of man has been gradual and slow. We keep improving so it follows that there was a time we were brute beasts.

CS-Theist: I would not call a few thousand years slow progress. Just a short time ago we discovered many things such as electricity. America is only a few hundred years old and look how far we have come. What concerns me is the dead bloody smelly bodies of numberless creatures who supposedly lived. Would there not be some clue they were here? Anything? There is nothing.

Atheist: Well look at the Hebrews. Is there any clue they were here? They left behind no buildings, no works of art, no nothing. How do we know that Abraham Isaac and Jacob were real people? Egypt left the pyramids. Greece left us their knowledge and other nations have left many artifacts that proves they existed.

CS-Theist: Hello? We have the Bible and Jesus the Christ. We have over 5000 manuscripts of the Greek New Testament. We have the Dead Sea Scrolls. Israel is with us today and they live in their homeland since 1948. And even if a million mistakes are found in the copies of the New Testament we know that Jesus was the Word made flesh. And he said that all the Law and the prophets hang on this: Love your neighbor as yourself.

Atheist: Hearsay is all it is. In contrast; what evolution has discovered thanks to the great naturalist Darwin we now know that the Bible is a myth.

CS-Theist: The myth? the original myth has nothing to do with the Bible. The myth is the what originated with the ancients who worshiped the sun and moon, the rain and the stars. This was before God called the idolater Abram out of Ur of the Chaldees. When the rain watered these ancient people’s crops and made them grow, they worshiped the rain which they saw as one of the good gods. If the rains destroyed their crops they then believed the rains had become angry or evil, so to appease the rain they offered up gifts on altars. You know that is why so many ziggurats are found all over the world. They built them to offer sacrifices to the god that they saw as friendly. If the sun warmed them they worshiped it. But if it burned their skin they  thought it was angry so they offered up sacrifices to appease it. They worshiped anything they saw as greater than they were. If something seemed to have power over them they saw it as a god. It is still happening today as in when some people worship celebrities or money or anything they see as greater or better or richer than they are. Not all people do this only those who see them as gods.

Atheist: But back to the mind; when the hairy smelly beasts were hungry or wanted to multiply by mating with female beasts, which was all the time they did not think. They moved according to their feelings. They took what they wanted with not a thought of anything. They did not think, their brains were not developed to think, they only felt, and did whatever it took to satisfy their animal beastly lust for self-gratification.

CS-Theist: On that we agree that the mind is separate from feelings. Instinct is not the thinking mind. Living by instinct is animalistic. It is not of God. God told us to think, and he told us how to think, and what to think. Because he knows our feelings will get us into trouble. So he gave us the law of Moses to guide our minds to think only those things that will make us happy. The Law of Moses guides us to do things that are in order with God so we will worship no God but Yahweh. This is why God told us what to do and what not to do. All you have said merely confirms that humans are by nature beastly. But God calls it sin and sin is the transgression of his law. The Bible is civilized while the story of evolution is laden with sorrow and pain and unheard of amounts of blood and disgusting entities who had no goal in life, nothing but their teeth and lust to shed more blood.

Atheist: The mind slowly evolved over billions of years. Before that it was part of the big scheme of things. It was as I said part of the big bang. Then it began to localize into individual brains.

CS-Theist: So you say it localized into individual brains? What came first the brain or the skull? What looked for the other? Did the skull look for a brain or did the brain look for a skull to reside in? Sound pretty far-fetched to me.

Atheist: The brain found the skull after billions of years of time had passed. The brain could not think yet it had to go through time. Time had to pass before anything could evolve.

CS-Theist: This is your answer then; that the brain evolved without a mind than after billions of years, the mind found the skull and got in it than it began to think? So it was wandering around in space looking for a home?

Atheist: Yes you could say that. It was part of the big bang explosion than after time had passed it finally found its place in the universe which was inside a skull and brain.

CS-Theist: And what determined which skull it landed in?

Atheist: Again it was sheer chance. If so and so got a smart mind it was the luck of the draw of the universe. If the mind was not so smart it was simply how it went. The strongest survive.

CS-Theist: So the strongest mind survived and was able to choose what skull it entered? Why did not this happen for the hairy beasts? Why were they excluded from this great scientific expedition into the unknown?

Atheist: They were not considered fully human yet. They were merely experiments that time used and discarded on its way to here to almost perfect humans. Remember there must always be sacrifice for victory. The beasts were  sacrificed so we could be here. We owe them alot.

CS-Theist: Yes the time-god is evil. Evolution’s time-god and I borrow from a famous atheist Richard Dawkins these adjectives he used in this order… is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; petty, unjust, unforgiving, control freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty, ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully. As for sacrifice I am so glad Jesus sacrificed himself to give us victory.